MANAGING STRESS AND WORK/FAMILY BALANCE
Thursday, April 20, 2006
In each case the title of the book is given first, followed by the
title of the talk, a description, and specific topics covered.
When The Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress (U.S.
subtitle: Understanding the Stress-Disease Connection)
Title of talk:
When The Body Says No: The Mind/Body Unity
and the Stress-Disease Connection
These days stress is ubiquitous—in the work place, in the home, almost
everywhere that people interact. It takes a heavy toll, unless recognized and
managed effectively and with insight.
Western medical practice separates the mind from the body, a
disconnect contrary both to ancient human wisdom and to the latest findings of
modern research. Science has now clearly shown that mind and body can be separated
only in textbooks, but not in real life. The brain and body systems and organs
that process emotions are intimately connected with the immune centres, the hormonal
apparatus and the nervous system. Thus emotional stress, especially of the
hidden kind that people are not aware of, can undermine immunity, disrupt the
body's physiological milieu and prepare the ground for disease. In almost
all chronic conditions, from cancer to ALS to multiple sclerosis to the autoimmune
conditions like rheumatoid arthritis, inflammatory bowel disease or Alzheimer's
disease, hidden stress is a major factor.
Dr. Mate’s presentation includes research findings, compelling
and poignant anecdotes from his own extensive experience in family practice and
palliative care, and also illuminating biographies of famous people such as the
athlete Lance Armstrong, comedian Gilda Radner, or baseball legend Lou Gehrig.
1. The mind/body unity as explained by modern science.
2. The nature of stress and its physiological consequences.
3. What the major stressors are on human beings: loss of control; uncertainty;
4. How the early environment “program” us physiologically and psychologically
into chronically stressful patterns of feeling and behavior
5. Why stress remains hidden in our culture.
6. How to recognize stress and how to prevent it.
7. The seven A's of healing
Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers
Title of talk: Peer Orientation: Why Children Are Stressed, Why
Parents Are Disempowered and How To Restore a Healthy Balance in Adult-Child
Parenting is much more stressful and difficult these days because
our children no longer look to adults for emotional support, the teaching of
values, or the modeling of behavior. Peer orientation refers to the tendency
of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right
and wrong, identity and codes of conduct. Peer orientation undermines family
cohesion, sabotages healthy development and fosters an aggressive and prematurely
sexualized youth culture. For parents already challenged by the demands of our
multitasking world and by sheer economic necessity, peer orientation greatly
complicates the child rearing task.
Children were never meant to be in a position where they are so dominant
in influencing one another. This state of affairs may be the norm today, but
it’s neither natural nor healthy. It is historically a new development, due to
economic and social influences prevalent since World War II that have undermined
This talk aims at helping to restore parenting to its natural
intuitive basis and the adult-child relationship to its rightful preeminence.
The concepts, principles and practical advice articulated will empower parents,
teachers and the other adults who play a nurturing role to be for children
what nature intended: the true source of contact, security and warmth. Parents
must regain their natural authority, without coercion, punishment and artificial
consequences. Children need to be protected from becoming lost in the emotionally
barren and culturally sterile world of peer orientation.
1. The basis of healthy child development: the attachment
relationship with parents, teachers and other adults.
2. Why the traditional relationship has become undermined, leaving parents
frustrated and children alienated and immature.
3. What peer orientation is and how it competes with children’s adult
attachments. How to recognize its signs.
4. How peer orientation leads to boredom, aggression, bullying, precocious
sexuality, drug use, developmental problems and “unteachability.”
5. How to restore the healthy adult orientation of our children, including
methods of discipline that do not alienate children but bring them closer.