CHAPTER 2 –
MENTORING: HOW IT WORKS
WHAT IS MENTORING?
Mentoring is a planned pairing of a more skilled or experienced person with a
lesser skilled or experienced one with the agreed-upon goal of having the lesser
skilled person grow and develop specific abilities to reach long-term objectives.
For the sake of simplicity in APEGGA, the term “mentor” refers
to an individual with whom a less experienced person has established a formal
relationship with clearly defined goals. The protégé
(or mentee, trainee, apprentice or candidate)
is the individual with less experience. The protégé and mentor
are two individuals who will engage in a structured relationship with specific
objectives. The mentor will share with the protégé
the responsibility of achieving the goals
rather then bear sole responsibility.
In the APEGGA context, Professional Development Hours can be claimed for mentoring
activities. The relationship must be based on specific goals driven by the protégé
but jointly arrived at with the mentor.
The relationship may be more structured as is suggested by the worksheets in
this guideline or it may be based on a natural chemistry between the two partners.
The relationship, however, should be between two individuals who do not have
a direct reporting relationship but rather a relationship in which coaching and
counseling can be delivered in a non-judgmental way.
Within the APEGGA Professional Development program, mentors can claim the
time invested in mentoring under Participation. Protégés may claim
their time under Informal Activities.
As a mentor, you can help aspiring young people find their way in the technical
world in which they live.
HISTORY OF MENTORING
In Greek mythology when Odysseus, King of Ithaca, went off to fight in the Trojan
War, he asked his best friend, Mentor, to look after the development of his son,
Telemachus. Mentor’s task was to educate and train the boy to fulfill his
birthright. Mentor helped Telemachus to become an adult who would inspire his
father’s pride. When Odysseus failed to return home at the end of the war,
Telemachus left the safety of his home to find his father and bring him home.
The goddess Athena, disguised as Mentor, traveled with him. The triumph of this
venture proved the success of Mentor
– and mentoring.
Since then mentoring has had a long and reputable history. Through time, mentoring
has included trade and craft guilds, apprenticeship systems and matching based
on similar learning styles. Mentoring has regained popularity under a variety
of names and styles, again mainly as a method by which a less experienced individual
can learn from a more experienced one. The United States Congress named 2001
as the “Year of the Mentor”
and strongly encouraged cities and towns
to organize volunteer programs to match adults with teens to help put them on
a career track.
There have been a number of innovations in mentoring. Most recently e-mentoring
has been shown to work extremely well after an initial level of trust and certain
ground rules have been established. In 2001, the University of Alberta and the
University of Calgary launched “SCIberMENTOR”, an e-mail mentorship
program designed to match women in science and engineering with girls between
the ages of 11 and 18. Often the mentors and protégés never meet
each other face-to-face but have enjoyed effective written correspondence.
WHY IS MENTORING BENEFICIAL?
Imagine that you aspire to be a great mountain climber. You have a
new pair of boots, a tent, a backpack and endless enthusiasm, but you have never
done much more than climb the stairs when necessary. As mentioned in the introduction,
there are two ways to becoming a good mountain climber. You could take a practice
run with somebody who has lots of experience and the willingness to share it.
The other way is to be taken to the base of a high mountain, dropped off and
told to get to the top or quit. If you don’t make it, your enthusiasm disappears
and you seek ways to avoid similar challenges in the future.
Too often, new professionals find themselves alone at the bottom of the world’s
tallest mountain. Having a mentor will help provide the confidence they need
to climb the obstacles to a great career.
MENTORING STYLES
There are many different styles of mentoring depending on the type of organization
and the individuals involved.
Casual Mentoring
Casual mentoring is what some individuals are referring to when they give public
recognition to a mentor who has served as a role model or example. The mentor
may not be aware that the protégé is using their behaviours as
an example to follow. Everyone engages in this type of mentoring, but it has
no formal structure or defined objectives – it involves simply learning
from the good habits and behaviours demonstrated by others. This is not to suggest
that casual mentoring is without value since much can be learned from others
even in passing interactions.
Informal Mentoring
Informal mentoring relationships are unplanned relationships. These mentoring
relationships grow out of a chance connection between two people and are further
built into a relationship in which there is transference of skills and knowledge.
There is no contract or list of goals. The relationship may move from professional
to personal and may last a lifetime. These mentoring relationships are unquestionably
valuable, but ‘just happen’ as opposed to being actively developed.
Informal mentoring can be enhanced if the participants in the relationship
take the time to have “ formal” discussions and establish specific
goals for the transference of certain skills and knowledge within set time periods.
Non-facilitated Mentoring
Non-facilitated mentoring relationships are those with structure, such as a mentoring
contract, but they have no coordinated assignment of mentor-protégé pairs.
The individuals make a mentoring connection without external help or direction.
The individuals will have supporting material such as written guidelines or seminars
and will be cognizant of their individual and paired expectations. They will
undertake a mentoring contract and will consult their respective employers if
necessary. They may have access to resource persons for help. Non-facilitated
mentoring may include multiple or group mentoring and e-mentoring as described
below.
Facilitated Mentoring
Facilitated mentoring is a structured program that involves a coordinator who
assigns mentoring pairs based on character, skills, need and other criteria.
The APEGGA Mentoring Pilot Project falls in this category. Some other large corporations
have facilitated mentoring programs as part of their company orientation practices,
or as succession management strategies. The matching process is time-consuming
and requires considerable human and capital resources. Facilitated mentoring
also helps design contracts, creates reasonable lists of goals and tracks the
mentoring pairs to see if the relationship is working and if not, steps in to
help facilitate the relationship. Although this may be the best kind of mentoring
program, the cost is often prohibitive.
Group Mentoring
This is relatively new idea, or renewed idea, as it was a practice hundreds of
years ago under various names. Group mentoring occurs when a number of mentors
serve together as a resource for a defined group of protégés with
similar expectations. The mentors bring a variety of skills to protégés
and share responsibility for each protégé’s growth. The group
may meet at regular intervals and unlike a one-on-one pairing, if one or two
mentors are unavailable, the protégés will still have a contact
person. The protégé
group also benefits from the varying backgrounds
and skill sets of their peers and may not need the mentors’ presence at
each meeting. All involved benefit from the network of colleagues.
Multiple Mentoring
A protégé may wish to consider having a number of mentors, each
of whom offers different skills and experiences. Because the relationship must
benefit both parties, the protégé should not use the mentors only
as skill improvement stations, but the protégé
should also try to offer in return some
elements of their knowledge or experience that might be of benefit to the mentor.
It is up to the protégé to decide who will make a good mentor and
approach that individual with a plan.
E-Mentoring
E-Mentoring can be successful if those matched in the relationship are equally
adept at using computers. A good deal of trust is required because comments made
in writing can be much more career limiting than a comment made in casual conversation.
Because of this fact, mentors and protégés must give serious consideration
to limiting topics. Written comments about difficulties experienced with one’s
boss or someone else in the organization would have to be avoided on-line, thus
limiting the value of the relationship. Those using e-mail for personal correspondence
should seriously consider using passwords on confidential documents. Using e-mail
for the everyday organization such as setting up a private meeting for discussions
of sensitive subjects can overcome the problem. E-mentoring is becoming more
and more popular because it helps to overcome some of the problems caused by
full schedules and jobs that require travel.
CRITICAL MENTORING SKILLS
There are specific core skills that everyone should use in a mentoring relationship.
They are listed below.
Listen Actively
Most of us have never been trained in how to listen to other people. While we
may think we are pretty good listeners, most people don’t listen as well
as they could. Some common traps and tips to avoid them include:
- Listening to respond. Stay focused on what the speaker is
saying until it is your turn to talk. Don’t formulate your answer until
they are finished. You’ll miss the end of their statement.
- Making assumptions. Check out what you have heard. You
do this by playing back or summarizing, in your own words, what you think the
other person has said. You might say, “So you think your boss doesn’t
like you. Is that right?” or “So you feel that I should take a course
in Effective Technical Writing?” Or check to see if you understand how
the other person feels. You might say, “You sound really frustrated or
hurt.”
or “You sound frustrated with me.”
If you have truly heard each other, you
will notice how relieved the other looks when you affirm what you hear or sense.
People rarely feel that they have been listened to and understood. Confirmation
is a powerful thing.
If you think your partner has it wrong, don’t be afraid to express your
concerns.
Question Openly
Most of us do not excel in asking questions because we tend to ask questions
that solicit a Yes/No answer – THE CLOSED QUESTION. It is better to ask
questions that give the person a chance to expand on the subject or their opinion –
THE OPEN QUESTION. An example of a closed
question might be to say, “Do you like your job?” To turn that into
an open question you might say, “How do you feel about your job?” Learning
to do so enables you to understand each other better and to develop a major life
skill.
Read Body Language
Sometimes body language says much more than words do. Some examples:
- Looking away –
avoiding eye contact may mean discomfort,
upset, disagreement, embarrassment
- Crossed arms –
anger, defensiveness, closed to the other’s
opinion
- Head in hands –
fatigue, upset
- Moving backwards, tilting chair back – feeling space
invaded
- Fidgeting, foot tapping – anxiety, boredom
- Hands covering eyes or mouth – sadness, shame
Avoid Communications Roadblocks
Some styles tend to get in the way of good interaction, for example:
- Ordering – telling someone what to do
- Threatening –
telling someone that there is only one
course of action, i.e. “If you don’t pay attention to this problem,
I will stop seeing you.”
- Preaching –
telling someone how to behave
- Avoiding – trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation
in the hope it will just go away
- Pacifying –
trying to make someone feel better without
having solved the problem
- Lecturing –
giving someone unsolicited advice
Build Trust
The following suggestions may help you develop rapport and build trust:
- Call just to talk
- Pick a good place to meet away from your offices
- Help each other prepare and offer suggestions
- Prepare yourself
- Be on time
- Set a comfortable tone
THINGS TO BE AWARE OF
Personal aptitude: Not everyone is suited to being a mentor
or a protégé. The Mentor and Protégé sections of
this guideline outline desirable attributes or competencies that are specific
to either mentor or protégé. The following are attributes that
both mentor and protégé should possess.
Control: The protégé
should manage and set the goals for the
relationship. After all, it is the development of the protégé that
is primarily at stake. That is not to say that the mentor does not have any input,
but the protégé
must be the one who takes responsibility
for the process and outcomes.
Non-technical relationship: In the context of the APEGGA
program, a mentoring relationship does not exist to develop the protégé’s
technical skills. Any technical content should, at most, be a very minor component
of the relationship.
Time: Good mentoring takes time – time spent in active
discourse and time preparing for meetings. It is recommended that the mentor
and protégé
be prepared to commit to a minimum of two
hours per month for mentoring activities, including preparation and review.
Access: The protégé
must be able to contact the mentor easily.
Mentors must respond in a timely fashion. Protégés may need a few
moments of their mentor’s time on short notice. An important component
of professionalism is the respect for the time of others. Define reasonable limits
and identify demands that are excessive or unreasonable.
Intimacy: A good mentoring relationship promotes trust and
open, honest, meaningful communication. The danger is that this relationship
may be interpreted as a more intimate one by either of the participants or by
an outside observer. This can lead to spousal jealousy, gossip or hurt feelings.
It is important to be aware of these potential pitfalls and guard against them.
Sensitivity: Be sensitive to cultural and gender differences.
One of the goals of this handbook is the acclimatization of a great variety of
individuals into the professional and technical culture of Alberta and Canada.
This does not negate the rights of individuals to their gender or culture, however
different from your own. Some of the most effective protégé/mentor
matches involve very different individuals.
Gender: Mentoring relationships between men and women can
be subject to some unique complications. Men tend to value hierarchical relationships,
while women tend to emphasize co-operative efforts. Men and women often communicate
with different speech patterns that can be an impediment to mentor-protégé communication.
Either of the participants may be unsure of what is appropriate behaviour with
the opposite sex within a mentoring relationship and there is always the possibility
of gossip. These issues are manageable if addressed early in the mentoring relationship.
Differences in culture: While this often refers to differences
in personal culture, it can also be applied to differences in professional or
corporate culture. The mentor and protégé
must both be aware of these differences
and respect them. Differences in corporate culture are especially important when
the mentor and protégé do not work for the same employer. In that
situation, the mentor must be sure to take differences into account when dispensing
advice.
Confidentiality: In order for a mentoring relationship to
succeed, it must be completely confidential. This is especially important when
the participants work for different organizations. Any information that either
the mentor or protégé
receives about the other organization must
be kept confidential and not be relayed to their co-workers or exploited for
personal gain. Before a cross-organizational mentoring relationship is established,
both participants should fully disclose their intentions to their respective
employers. It is important to remember that, in the APEGGA context, a mentoring
relationship does not exist for technical reasons. Its purpose is to aid the
protégé in developing other career skills. Any technical content
should be at the most a very minor component of the relationship. Technology
transfer works much better in a coaching relationship.
Favoritism: This is a risk in any professional relationship.
A mentor who supervises a protégé
who is also an employee must take particular
care to avoid favouring that person. It is recommended that mentor/protégé
pairs not be established between a protégé
and a direct supervisor to help avoid these
situations. Mentors must evaluate their own effort in the relationship.
Cloning: The purpose of a mentoring relationship is for the
mentor to facilitate the protégé’s development based on the
mentor’s greater experience. It is not for mentors to mold their protégés
into duplicates of themselves. Protégés must be allowed to develop
in their own ways. A mentor can make suggestions about what might best be accomplished
but the final decision must be left to the protégé.
Terminating the mentoring relationship: This important issue
needs to be discussed early in a mentoring relationship. How will the participants
know when the relationship has reached its conclusion and should be ended? How
will the relationship be ended? Clear, early definition of this issue will ensure
that there are no guilty or hurt |